Dead Baby Jokes!!!!!

If these jokes offend you, sorry! These are for humor purposes only. You know you want to laugh. These things are genius. Enjoy and read them with your friends! (unless your the really unpopular spazzy kid) If you find or make any other dead baby jokes, email them to me please. Dead babies aren't just lifeless infants. They, my good sir, are a way of life. They are a gifts from the sick minds of America.  And we, the good  citizens of America, (or maybe not) shall enjoy these jokes. Let your cruel side out!


1.What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
2.How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
3.How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
4.What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
5.How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
6.How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
7.What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
8.What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an AX.
9.How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
10.How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!
11.Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
12.Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
13.What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
14.Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
15.What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.
16.Why did the baby fall off the swing?
Because it had no arms or legs.
17.What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
18.How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
19.What's red, smokes and dances?
A baby on a barbecue.
20.What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
21.What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.
 22.When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
 23.What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window?
A baby in a microwave.
24.What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children's playground!
25.What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
26.Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
27.What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
28.What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with slashed floaties.
29.Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
30.What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
31.What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
Dart-boards don't bleed.
32.How do you save a drowning baby?
Harpoon it.
33.Know what's gross?
Running over a baby with a truck.
34.Know whats worse?
Skidding on it.
35.Worse than that?
Peeling it off the tires.